The Reviews

" 'There was never a time when I really felt unsafe' says one Bob's Taxi fan. Of course, the music was made to be fun for the whole family; yet, this experience may still be too hot to handle. All the members of Bob's Taxi have been circumcised, so you can rest assure no foreskin will come before the music.
            A show usually starts out with a summary of their music background in a little shiz shaz kaplaz called 'Jazz Camp.' Ross Goldman, the drummer of the Taxi, once attended Jazz camp making him an expert on music. He can also get really good deals at farmer's markets. Grant Suckdick (excuse the spelling if it's wrong) was actually second choice to about 20 other guitar players, but eventually he was recruited because he once biked across the Golden Gate Bridge on all fours, and in a band, someone like that is crucial, you really need those go-getters. Ian Buck, comes from a long line of Indian chiefs, (hence the name Buck, like a deer) so naturally he's good at bass, it runs in his blood like a river, so does alcoholism. Brad, well... he thought of the name, enough said. They're also known to harbor some real hot roadies.
            Have you ever been in the situation where you were listening to a really good song earlier but you can't remember how it went, or the name of the song or even the band? Well, more the likely, it was a Bob’s Taxi song, the songs just have a tendency to leave your mind, just to haunt you, like a sick little monster. We all know that when you ask a woman what's her favorite body part on a guy, they say something like the shoulders, or strong calves, or arms, or back when we all really know it's the dong? Bob's Taxi also saved an orphanage from a pack of bears, and after that, they put on a free show for the bears, because they orphans were all eaten, but the actual orphanage was OK. I'm sorry, but that's what I call desperate. I also think you're desperate to feel left out if you don't go to the next Bob's Taxi show, yes, you Arthur Moreau."     -Aria, San Diego

The Story Of A True Fan: Aria

Well......Aria lives in San Diego, CA. He isnt like one of them normal kids, he was brought up in the ghetto, with just his sister and one leg. Most people who know Aria now he is a good guy with only one testicle, but no one knows he is wolf. People are always thinking, "So Aria is Indian, Right?," "Aria is Vegan, right?", Nahhhhhhh!, he is wolf! plain and simple. Now you must wonder, how did he get that way?. Well the story starts a long time ago when his mom was a french whore stationed at the local hang out spot, sweat shop lane. So then there was this one night when Aria's Ma noticed this man in the distance and with out even asking they made love until she died from a heart attack and simultaniously gave birth Aria, who happened to be a wolf at the time. So Aria's sister had to breast feed him and become a chronic bolemic just to feed his daily meats, and yes i think we all know wolfs have the same eating habbits as birds. And now we can all sleep quietly knowing Aria really isn't a Vegan.