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Grant
Hey all you Bob's Taxi-liker-people. It's me, Grant, the asian guy, who plays guitar for the band Bob's Taxi. Let me start off by introducing myself: My name is Grant, and I think you are obese.
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BT
I like to think of Bob's Taxi as my vent to the world. Deep inside my heart, Bob's T represents humanity and the world. Ross, being the drummer/percussionist, is the eternal beat within us all, supplying us with the crucial need to live, love, eat, and struggle with beef jerky packaging when our fingers are just too damn cold. Brad, our...let's say...other.. "guitar player" he represents the progression of man in time. That is because he is ugly. And I believe man is ugly. And that is why man progresses. It's because he's just ugly, and he can't do anything about it. Now, me...I represent the whole of Asia. That's right, every little school boy and girl that studies and works really hard on that ginormous mound of dirt geographically on the other side of the planet. Now why is that? It's because I'm Asian, you ass, thus, I represent Asia. I think TuPac, after his triumphant return to the streets, should join us in song when he gets the time, about how we should all love each other, because, that's the only thing we've got. All we gots is love...oh yeah, and Ian. He represents the wind, because, you know, wind...it's what makes those little dinky-ass technicolor windmills that you get from Sav-on go round, and Ian's a man who loves his Technicolor windmills. Way to go Ian, you've made Australia proud. Well that's it for now, be sure to stay tuned for our new rockin' track lineup. It's gonna be a doosey, and I can guarantee you won't be able to keep your panties clean after a dose of BT!!!
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Brads sure-fire advice to becomming a hunky, meaty, sweaty, juicy Rock God!
1. First step, i guess would be to make a lot of jokes in class, dont pay attention to your teachers, except for maybe your english teacher, you'll need her.
2. Remember, education, sleep and your sense of smell are not your friend. Instead of studying, try listening to tragically loud music, be strict with yourself, you've got to do it everyday!
3. Feel free, no, feel encouraged to pick fight with the elderly and people much bigger than yourself.
4. Have no respect for authority and standing up to your father, he may tower above you now.
5. Chase after girls
6. Get many dead end jobs working with cannabalistic rasist pigs who only teach you to get dissmembered and steal from the collection plate at church.
7. Okay kids, this is wear it gets tricky, get a decent wad of one dollar bills, move to the biggest city you can find, get the smallest apartment you can find,keep your underwear in a bowl in the fridge, never answer the phone, never remember you families birthdays or come home for christmas,think alot about vampires. Also wear "I'm with stupid" shirts and a crash helmet just in case.
8. Start filling every space, yes including your fridge and window sills, with bargain cats .
9. Learn guitar, become rock god!
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These suggestions may not work, so use them at ur own risk. Most likely you will suck at guitar and become a local burger flipper. Rock On!
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